Learn how one of the oldest neighbourhoods in Bangalore is caring for its elderly citizens

This blog discusses how few neighbours in Malleshwaram have come together to add more happiness among elderly people in the community.

by Samruddhi Jadhav

We always look for a place to feel safe, secure and happy. People yearn for someone with whom they can share their mutual thought, interest and problems. Thus the prospect of a community appeals to us. A good, caring community benefits its members in many ways, by ensuring safety and well-being, boosting mental health and providing vital social engagement. It takes time to fully develop trust and brotherhood within the community and the neighbourhood of Malleshwaram seems to have already obtained it.

Malleswaram is one of the oldest and well-planned localities situated in the north-western part of Bengaluru. It is said that the town of Malleswaram along with Basavanagudi had a major influence on R.K Narayan. The fictional town of Malgudi penned by him was a result of this influence. This town has a rich culture of hospitality and gives you a friendly neighbourhood aura. Something that has become increasingly difficult to find in the world that we live in. Not here though. Love for the elders and the entire community is in abundance here. And you can feel it the most on the last Sunday of the month at 5 PM in the Malleswaram Elders Meet.

What started out as a simple model to bring all the elderly together — to meet and talk of the community, bringing positivity in their day to day life — became a regular phenomenon, where even the commercial entities of Malleswaram jumped in to support the initiative. Slowly, the local artists started pouring in to perform free of charge just to see these seasoned audiences smile and laugh. As the event scaled, various other people joined in as sponsors to this crowdsourced initiative.

The Elders Meet In Malleswaram can be described as a community connect programme with neighbourly love and cooperation at the centre. The main objective is the community connection we tend to look out for in our own corners of the cities that we live in. I was able to talk with Ms Shalia, who along with her team of 35 volunteers makes this happen and keeps the culture of caring for the neighbourhood alive in Malleswaram.

How did this initiative start? What is its origin story?

Ms Shalia: The initial stages of the group were quite simple. Our entire objective was to create a sense of belonging within the community and to make the elderly people feel loved and appreciated. When we first started we would do simple tasks like visiting them on their birthdays and try to make it special by giving them a cake, singing for them or doing whatever would make them happy. Over a period of time, the group grew in number. I remember once I found a particular case where the son wanted to find a safe communal place for his mother to socialise. He said that she did not have the most ideal life and wanted her to experience new things. I have seen quite such cases. While there are few places around Malleswaram for the elderly to meet and socialise, they aren’t exactly the mingling and partying spots. And the ones that do provide such service, usually charge money which many people are not willing to give. Keeping all this in mind we started this little get together between the elderly people of our neighbourhood. It is held once a month, free of charge. It is a place where people connect over a hot cup of coffee or tea, good food and music.

What is your fondest memory about the community?

Ms Shalia: I have way too many memories with them, to be honest, I don’t think I will be able to choose one. Every evening spent with them is something that feels special to me. My favourite part about the evening would be the elders who recently came back after going out of town somewhere in order to meet their kids or just a little vacation trip and they would tell me how much they missed us. It feels great that they treat us like their second family. Another memory that is really close to my heart is about a couple in their 60’s and their kid. He is a special child and requires a little more attention. I remember his parents were on the fence about bringing him to our get together party. They were worried that the unfamiliar crowd would scare him off. But I insisted on bringing him along. My team and I were capable of giving him the special attention he required and really wanted him to join us. Although it is a party for elders, it is still about the community connection at its core. After settling in with us, he would attend the meetings ever-so-often. It wasn’t too frequent but he would tag along with his parents once in a while. I remember clearly one evening he said he wanted to sing for us. That was a very heart touching moment that is still etched in my mind. The fact that he felt comfortable enough among us and wanted to perform for us meant a huge deal for me.

How did the community deal with Covid lockdown as they were not able to hold any get-togethers?

Ms Shaila: The lockdown was announced 5 days before we were scheduled to meet. Everyone was disappointed but health and safety are definitely more important. Although our group started quite small we currently have 400–450 people in it. We have a broadcasting system and we communicate through it. So during the lockdown, I decided to post more often in the group as it was the only way to stay connected. I would publish audio or video visuals. At times it would be something for them to read and entertain themselves with it. I would post every day at 6 pm for them. My team and I also assisted them with buying groceries during the initial stages of the lockdown. We would help them find things that weren’t available online or weren’t in stock at the local supermarket. Another small initiative my team undertook as the restrictions eased up a little was to present the elderly people with a plant sapling. We tied up with a local nursery for this. We wanted to send a hopeful message to them and thought this was the best way to do it.

Have you guys held a get together recently? What was it like?

Ms Shaila: No, we sadly have not. As most of the members are older people, organizing a party with a large crowd is quite risky. So we haven’t met in a social setting. We have met them in person due to our vaccination campaign though. My team and I arranged to pick up and drop services for our elderly members. So that it would be easy for them to travel to the nearest vaccination centre.

What advice do you have for neighbourhoods drifting apart?

Ms Shaila: I think we have become quite selfish in our way of living and need to incorporate some empathy and compassion towards our neighbours. I remember my cousin telling me about a death that happened in her neighbourhood due to covid and how she regretted not having reached out to the victim and the family while the person was still around. I think it is important for us to try to break the ice and actually reach out to those in our communities. It is essential for us to go back to the old school of thought and focus more on community building. The best way to do so is by taking small steps and bringing everyone together with small community-building initiatives. I have a recent one planned called Bags And Plastic. The aim is to flush away single-use plastic from the neighbourhood. My team and I collect plastic from all houses while at times some people come to donate by themselves. This initiative is people-centric and helps to form a bond. Such activities are useful to build a strong community.

This conversation with Ms Shaila was an eye-opening experience for me. In our busy lives, we tend to take our neighbourhood for granted and disregard the importance of a positive and friendly neighbourhood in our lives. A community stands on the policy of giving and receiving. We have to give back to our society in order to cultivate engagement and social connection. As humans, we crave a sense of belonging and acceptance. That sense of belonging is what connects us to the many relationships we develop.

We are compelled to build a connection with the ones around us as we are social creatures that need to avoid alienation. Hence in order to doge isolation, we submerge ourselves into a community. Bonding within a community is a crucial aspect of our lives, especially for elderly people. Our neighbourhood is a place where people can come together and confide in each other, where people learn from each other, share ideas, help one another and grow together. A community is a place where people feel belonging.

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